Loving You is Like Drinking Poison
by Jewannaman
Summary: Post 6x10. No Flash-forward. After Blair's wedding, Dan leaves New York with Serena for the production of his movie. (Alternative Chapter 2 now posted)
1. Chapter 1

_This is a two-shot and the first chapter is one of Dan's POV and the next one will be Blair's POV. It starts off right after the Series Finale, except Dan never reveals he's Gossip Girl. So Dan is not Gossip Girl and there is no flash forward. __For those who didn't watch the Series Finale, Dan got a movie deal, which is where this story leaves off._

___I've working on this fic for what seems like forever, so I hope you enjoy._

* * *

Dan gets the fuck out of New York to meet the production company of his new movie in Los Angeles. He rents out a new spacious apartment and spends his days, hunched over his desk, writing the script.

Serena visits within a few days. She would've came sooner, but she needed to be there to see Blair off for her honeymoon.

Serena's a grand consolation prize. She's good in bed and the fact that she's literally drop dead gorgeous doesn't hurt. He knows he shouldn't be thinking these sorts of things, but his dick does most of the talking now since his heart is sort of numb. He does indeed love Serena, but that doesn't mean he's still not mending the pieces of his broken heart and trying to find some resolution in fixing it. That is what Serena is. She's just another variable in a complicated equation of getting over Blair Waldorf.

He isn't surprised when Serena moves in. It's sort of the next step in their relationship. Serena thinks this was how it's meant to be. Rufus and Lily and not lasting was a sign for them to be together. He shrugs and decides he's just going to roll with the punches and see where it takes him.

Like she did when he wrote the article trashing Serena, she forgives him again. This time, it's for not paying enough attention to her.

Serena's good to him. He's never been treated like this by any woman or girl. Allison had barley spoken a word to him in the past two years. His sisters still in the Hudson doing whatever she does, Vanessa warned him about everyone from the Upper East Side and left him to fend for himself, and Blair, his best friend who never was never really his friend in the first place. But Serena is different, she truly cares about him, and he finds it truly sad that he can't give it back to her. It's like he's Blair and she's him.

* * *

Christmas comes too fast but that's only because he agrees to come back to New York because he somehow managed a way to not to visit New York during Thanksgiving. Serena wants to spend the holidays with her mother and that's something Dan cannot take away from her.

As soon as they land in JFK, Dan heads to Brooklyn and Serena leaves for the Upper East Side.

When he arrives outside the door to his loft, Dan takes a deep breath and turns the knob. He sees his father in the kitchen, preparing some pasta while Jenny's sitting by the island watching. The dark eye shadow his sister once wore is gone. She looks young and fresh, which is something he wishes he were.

He drops his luggage and wraps Jenny in for a tight hug, muttering _I missed you_, in her hair.

Jenny catches him up on her past semester of school and his mind drifts off to how his sister is a year away from graduating. There's sinking feeling when Dan thinks about deciding not to finish school.

The majority of Dan's time is spent in Brooklyn, trying to avoid anything to do with Serena's side of the family. However, he did promise Serena he would come over for the Christmas Eve party being held at the Bass's. The thought has been lurking around in the back of his head for most of his days residing in New York.

Before he leaves for the family get-together, Dan checks himself out in the mirror and realizes he looks pretty good. He shuts his eyes and hears a familiar voice saying he cleans up nicely. The voice is in his head, but it still has the capability of sending shivers down his spine.

There isn't much for Dan to add at the family function. Lily smiles and hugs him. She's being really nice to him, but he it's still awkward because of everything that happened between his father and her. Dan stares in Lily's eyes and sees a woman exhausted. The smile she has doesn't look real anymore and he wonders why not just take a leap of faith, and hitch a cab to Brooklyn.

"Hey man"

Dan looks up to see Nate standing above him in the living room. There were still a lot of issues unresolved between them. When Dan left New York, everyone hated him, and making things worse, he still hadn't apologized for ditching Nate and selling the rights to his articles to Vanity Fair.

"What are you doing here sitting alone on this couch?" Nate asks.

He hears the giggling and laughter from the wall in-between them. Everyone seems content with their lives while he's sitting on the couch alone, just going through the motions.

"Nothing" Dan rubs his eyes tiredly. "Just hanging out"

Nate's lips curve slightly. "Sounds fun"

He can feel the footsteps and looks to his right to see Blair swaying her hips over to them. A smile tugs his lips when he notices that she still wears headbands. The most painful thing about seeing Blair is that her beauty doesn't fade, rather it only grows.

"Come on, we have to get some ice" Blair says, looking at Nate and tugging at his arm.

"Do you want come?" Nate offers with an inviting smile.

Blair rolls her eyes and there is a sharp twisty feeling in his heart. Time has done nothing for him. He wants to ask why she's acting this way, but he remembers he's supposed to hate her, because hating her makes everything easier.

"Nah" Dan waves him off with his hand. "I think I'll stay here and try to figure out if the bookshelves in this room are for showcase." His eyes and head shift around, studying at the bookshelves. "I think most of the books are encyclopedias?"

"Dude, I'm seriously trying here" Nate tells him with the demeanor of friendliness wearing off.

"Even if it is for Serena's sake" Blair chimes in, leading Nate to point a glare in Blair's direction.

Dan puckers his lips and breathes through his nose, trying to take everything in without reacting. He may have done some horrible things in the past, but it was at point when he was at his lowest. From what he can remember, no one was there for him. Rather, they all turned against him because he never belonged in the Upper East Side. Serena is the only reason they're even speaking to him. So in the end, he has too much pride to be friends with them again.

"After everything that's happened, I don't think we can go back to the way things were"

"Everything that's happened?" Nate's brows furrow in question. "The only thing I remember is you being a douche"

His fists clench in together and he stands up to face Nate. "I'm really sorry for that. I may have gone overboard, but I was heartbroken" His soft eyes go over to Blair. "And I was having difficulty dealing with it"

When the two look at each other and don't say a word, Dan decides to walk past them and leave the townhouse without saying goodbye to Serena as his sole concentration is keeping his emotions intact. Everything about the Upper East Side hurts and it's why he avoids coming back. He hates what he had become and it's something he wants to forget.

* * *

After spending Christmas in the Humphrey loft, Dan heads back to California to finish his movie. Shooting the movie has been one of the better experiences he's had. For the first time in his life, he feels like he belongs somewhere and is a part of something special. He loves that the director takes his input into consideration or how he played a big part in choosing the cast.

It takes half year to finish production on the movie and truthfully, it had been a very stressful six months and Serena had felt it. But fortunately for him, Los Angeles suits Serena well. There are many beaches for Serena to go and the nightlife is something difficult to forget. Once production is over, he gets a little break and takes Serena to Fiji. The trip is when he finally comes to the conclusion that their relationship just isn't working.

The next six months are spent promoting the movie by doing interviews and traveling to different film festivals. There isn't much else he does, so it leaves a lot of time for him and Serena for themselves, which is scary because as Serena becomes more emotionally involved, he only drifts further away.

* * *

Another Christmas comes their way and it's time to go back to New York again for Dan. This time, he takes a last minute flight and arrives in New York the night before Christmas morning. Serena had of course come a week earlier, but they agreed it was fine for him to meet her there.

To be perfectly blunt, Christmas at the Van Der Woodsen's is horrible. He's sitting there, watching a gorgeous milky skinned Blair smiling at Chuck. It hurts to see how much Chuck has matured. Everything he did in the past is swept under the rug and they're blissfully happy because of it. She sure did stick it to him.

He opens his presents and then goes to the library to spend some time away from Serena's family, which doesn't go unnoticed by Serena.

Serena places a hand on her hip and her brows furrow in frustration. "You can't even spend one day with them?"

Dan begins pacing back and forth, running a hand through his hair. He's in deep thought, and everything is coming to a halt.

"Dan!" Serena yells to catch his attention.

He finally stops and turns to face Serena, with a sad smile forming on his lips. "I don't think I can do this anymore"

Serena sighs. "Baby, we have to see my mom once in a while"

"No, I mean this isn't working" Dan shuffles his hand back and forth in-between him and Serena, trying to make a point. "I'm stringing you along, even though I know it's not going to lead to anything"

Serena steps closer to get a better read on Dan while giving him an incredulous look. There doesn't seem to be sadness in her eyes. Instead, it looks as though there is some rage building up.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Serena asks, sounding as though his confession is coming out of the blue.

"I do love you Serena, but after being in love with Blair, there is no way I can be with you" Dan explains with sadness reeking all over his face. "I want to be with someone who doesn't make me think about her"

"You still love her?" Serena asks softly as her blue diamond eyes begin to water up.

"I can't remember what it felt like not to be in love with her" Dan says and swallows hard. "I still listen to the messages she left in my voicemail from when we were dating"

A moment of silence passes as they stare into each other's eyes. It so silent, he can hear heavy breathing and it leads them to turn their heads to see Blair standing by the entrance of the library. Her face is so fucking hard, but her chest is heaving back and forth.

Dan turns his attention back at Serena. "I'm sorry for doing this to you"

After those words leave his lips, he heads off, knowing there's officially no reason to ever come back to the Upper East Side.

* * *

Dan needs to escape. Especially considering there is nothing for him to do. With the movie finally released for theaters, he starts brainstorming for ideas of his next book.

His publisher sends him off to London with a nice place to stay so he can get some inspiration. While in the flight to London, he reads the reviews to his movie and finds them to be mixed. It's fine though, he had already sold his soul when he made the deal.

Dan arrives in London and quickly realizes it's basically an expensive Seattle. Some people find the cloudy skies to be beautiful, but Dan is not one of those people.

He gives the taxi driver his new address and reads through the brochure of London, trying to think tourist spots he could visit. When the car stops and he looks out the window, it's a secluded mansion with a large lawn the size of a football field.

Dan swallows hard and heads in the house. Once he sets foot in the foyer, he takes the place in. It's old and looks as though it hasn't had any residents in years, but he can notice how well-crafted it is. He thinks the publishing firm may have chosen this place in the hopes he takes a darker path in his next story.

It takes him an hour just to choose a room because there are so many of them, and he can't help but wonder how he's going to sleep at night.

After getting a little more accustomed to the house, he picks up an old dusty sheet covering the study desk in the office room and tosses it aside to place an old typewriter he had bought before heading to London. The story starts with the narrator attending an old flame's extravagant wedding.

As days pass, he becomes more and more invested in the story. Within months, he starts having difficulty distinguishing between reality and story. And soon, it becomes an escape from his life.

* * *

Dan's eyes flutter open to the feel of a hand shaking his body. Rubbing his eyes, he sits up from the bed to see Eric standing before him.

"I like the beard" Eric says.

"It just sort of happened" Dan laughs a little and runs a hand through his messy long curls.

Eric goes over to his desk and picks at the stack of papers with his writings. "Your father's worried. He's been trying to reach you, but hasn't heard from you in a year"

Dan's eyes go to the stack of papers on the desk. "My mind has been on other things"

"How far along are you?" Eric asks, turning to face Dan.

"A little more than half way" Dan answers

A smile becomes of Eric's lips as pulls up a chair and sits by Dan's bed. "Wow, you still have a long ways to go"

Dan's eyes go over Eric's shoulder and out the window to see the snow piling up. "I want it to be perfect, but I'm getting worried its only leading to obsession"

Eric swallows hard and meets Dan's eyes. "I'm really worried about you Dan. You don't look good" He waits for Dan to respond, but nothing comes of it. "Christmas is in a few days. Why don't you come back to New York?"

Dan's lips curve slightly. "I don't think I'm very welcomed there"

"You may not be in good terms with anyone from the Upper East Side right now, but that doesn't mean there aren't people missing you in Brooklyn" Eric tells Dan.

Eric's right, he should be spending his Christmas with family. He owes his father at least that.

* * *

A freshly clean shaven Dan leaves London and heads for New York with Eric. He starts looking back on his trip and realizes the only time he left his home was when there wasn't anything in the fridge.

Being in a plane filled with people has become strange for Dan. He's not comfortable dealing with people yet, as it has been a long time since he has spoken a word to someone real.

When Dan arrives back in the loft, Jenny and his father are there waiting for him. They look so worried and it makes him feel guilty for putting them through his way of dealing with things. It's sort of sad when he thinks about how little family he has. His father was a single child, so it left Jenny and him with little blood relations.

"Hey son" Rufus gives him a warm tentative smile. "Why don't you go unpack your things and then we'll decide what to do with dinner"

Dan nods and makes his way over to his room, which looks exactly the same. The bricks behind his bed are still battleship gray and it looks as though a teenager had been living there. It's so much cleaner than the house in London and it's one of the things he loved about the Loft.

His love for Brooklyn soon begins to fade when he sees an empty spot in his bookshelf behind his bed.

"Jenny!" Dan shouts and turns to the door to his bedroom to wait for his sister to arrive.

"Yeah" Jenny says as she reaches Dan's doorway.

"Where's Cedric" Dan asks.

Jenny looks down and away from Dan. "I think dad may have misplaced him"

"He lost him!" Dan's throws his hands up and looks at Jenny incredulously. When an answer doesn't come, he storms out of his room and into the kitchen. "Dad, don't tell me you lost him"

Rufus sighs and frowns. "I looked everywhere son, I can't find him"

He shuts his eyes and shakes his head, before going back to his room. There's nothing he can do, so it's pointless to yell his father. He remembers in his teenage years when something like this would lead to a huge verbal sparring match, but puberty is long gone now, and his dad is probably thankful for that.

After Dan cleans himself up, they order pizza and drink wine, spending most of the night reminiscing on the past. It's one of those nights where his father is being open and it's an opportunity for him to learn something new about his dad.

"You know, I think we're so alike" Rufus says, sitting on the armchair and holding his glass of wine. "The major difference is your success I suppose"

Dan's lips curl a little as he's sitting on the couch with Jenny. "Not so fast, I may just be a one hit wonder like you"

"You're too good at what you do to fail" Rufus replies and places his glass on wine on the coffee table. He sits back and smiles at something he's thinking about.

"Every time I look back at my life, I think about how many years I've spent alone. Granted your mother filled some of the void, but being married to her are years I can never have back" Rufus tells them and glances over to Dan.

Dan loves his father dearly, but the last thing he wants is to end up like him. Unfortunately, the path paved for him is pointing to them ending up the same.

* * *

Dan's happy to learn Jenny's been doing well for herself. She spent a summer interning at Waldorf Design's, and when the summer ended, she was offered a full position on their designing staff. His sister spends most of her time in the Upper East Side and his nights in Brooklyn become just as lonely as they were in London.

When Dan graduated from high school, he thought the nickname lonely boy wouldn't ring true anymore. It started out well when he transitioned into college. He made lots of friends, but then Blair came into his life and he drifted away from every relationship he had made in college, due to the book and his growing love from afar.

So when he sees Vanessa sitting in his room, things begin to look up. He hugs her tightly whispering how much he fucking missed having a friend who could relate to him and knew everything he had been through.

It doesn't come as a surprise when he learns it was Jenny who made the call to his former best friend.

* * *

They lay on top of the roof, staring into the night sky in the hopes of seeing a shooting star. He feels the cool summer breeze blowing a curl hanging in front of his forehead and wonders why he never took Blair on the roof.

"Blair called me you know" Vanessa says.

He turns his head over to see her still staring at the sky. "When?"

"It was a couple of years ago when she was persuading me to come back to New York. She was telling me how awful of person you were"

"I think that may have been after I posted some article about her" Dan says, thinking back to the conversation he had with Blair.

"Did you really date her?" Vanessa asks.

"I would call it more of fling to be honest" Dan answers holding a smile, leading Vanessa to arch a brow and look at Dan with serious doubt. "Well it wasn't a fling to me"

"I know, I was the first person to read _Inside_" Vanessa reminds him in a soft caring voice.

"Thank you for doing that by the way" Dan says.

"Doing what?" Vanessa asks.

"For believing in me"

Sometimes he wonders where he would be if _Inside_ had never been published. It actually became the best thing that had ever happened to him.

"Maybe you should call her" Vanessa says in a persuasive tone of voice.

He chuckles at the thought, but it comes out filled with more pain then he intended. "That's a bad idea. I am nothing but something for her to look back on and laugh at it with Chuck"

He looks away and shuts his eyes, feeling a slight sting becoming of his eyes.

Vanessa places her hand on top of his and lets the silence sweep in.

* * *

Dan takes the bus to a Mediterranean Restaurant he once recalled loving dearly. The icy wind chill isn't making it any easier on him, but he made Vanessa a promise to meet her there.

When Dan smell's the hummus, images of kebab spinning around in a rotisserie pop in his head. He opens the door and finds the small cozy restaurant to be filled, which isn't surprising since he's there during lunch hour. However, he is surprised when he sees Blair sitting alone by a small rectangular table, packing up her things.

He remembers taking her there all the time, when they were friends and then more than friends. Knowing, he's probably the last person she wants to see, he turns his back and stares at the menu on the front counter, giving her the opportunity to leave without saying hi.

The sound of her heels clicking is making Dan nervous and his breathing is only becoming shallower. If he had to say something at the moment, it would be dreadful, because he can't imagine any words leaving his lips.

"Dan Humphrey" He hears in that conceited, superior voice of hers, which leads him to spin around and take her in. She looks amazing. Her hair looks and smells perfect. The overcoat she's wearing accentuates her body seamlessly.

"Bl-….Blair" Dan stutters and swallows nervously.

Her lip quivers a little and he can notice a hint of the corners curving. It looks as though she's taking him in as well, which is unexpected. He thought she would be saying something unnecessarily cruel by now.

"How have you been?" Blair asks, taking a brave step forward.

"Good, I've just been writing" Dan answers.

"Writing" She repeats in question and Dan nods his head slowly. "I look forward to reading it" His eyes widen to her kind words.

Blair raises her brows and smiles. "Is something wrong?"

"You're being nice"

"It's called having a conversation Humphrey" Blair replies.

"Which is not something we have" Dan reminds her.

Blair takes a breath and looks down for a minute before meeting Dan's eyes. "Look, I was mad because I thought I had been duped. I thought everything I knew about you was a lie, but after hearing what you've had to say, I think you're a good man who made a mistake"

"So you forgive me?" Dan asks softly.

"Yes Humphrey, I forgive you" Blair tells him.

"Thank you"

She just smiles, putting on her sunglasses and leaves for the limo awaiting her outside the restaurant.

* * *

He doesn't speak to Blair for the rest of his time in New York. Partly because he doesn't know what to do with what she told him. He's forgiven, but they still weren't friends and it's not like he wanted to spend time with her to discuss how well her marriage with Chuck was going. And yet, he probably would if she called him.

The mini break does him some good. He's recharged and ready to go back and finish his book. When he starts writing again, he arrives with the same results, meaning getting lost in his own world. He starts ignoring calls again and just focusing on writing the narrator's five year torrid affair with his old flame.

He doesn't even pay attention to the calendar anymore. It's just him stuffed in his room, writing about something that doesn't feel like a fantasy.

His publishers were losing patience, but Dan had finished just in time and sent it for them to review. They love it and send him on the next flight to Los Angeles to meet him.

In the meeting, he receives a few critiques, but overall, they're in love with it and don't really want to change much. That leads to him spending the next few months re-editing his work with his editor and making sure the story is perfect before releasing.

The book itself has already received a lot of buzz, which he doesn't like. Not only does it interfere with his personal life, but he's also worried he won't meet expectations.

Dan makes sure Vanessa is the one to receive the first copy. He thanks her and tells her not to make any assumptions.

Of course when the book is released, it means a lot of his time is spent on book tours and promotional events for to attend. Dan hates the spotlight, especially after spending so much time alone. The questions people have can be out there and he finds it weird that people are so interested in his personal life.

The last destination of his book tour is Paris, which was something he planned. After signing a few books and doing a few Q & A's, he wanted to spend some time in Paris to regroup.

It's crazy, but he walks down the street late at night in the beautiful city, trying to come up with new ideas for his next book. He's turned into a workaholic now. The rave reviews he's received has only heightened his drive, but before he begins writing again, he wants to have some fun.

Dan hears great things about this nightclub and decides to go. Who knows, he may find his next story.

With his manager, Dan arrives in the nightclub. It's surprisingly large. The mahogany colored velvet U-shaped lounge chairs are huge. Their on either side, on a carpeted floor, while black and white marble tiles lie in the middle and separate them. It's designed in a way Lily would love.

Unlike everyone there, he actually goes to the bar rather than ordering a drink from a waitress working there. The friends his manager brought with him just remind him of the minions he knew during high school. All they want is to get in, and they don't care about getting to know him. In essence, it's why he chooses to sit alone by the bar.

"Dan? Is that you?" He hears a familiar voice that makes his heart sink.

He looks over his shoulder and can't believe who it turns out to be. Two years had passed since he had last seen Blair. She looks unbelievable in her knee high red, spaghetti strapped, satin dress. Her hair's partially tied in a bun while the remains fall on her creamy shoulders. She blinks slowly with her long black eyelashes, making him swallow hard. His gradually eyes drift down to her bare fingers. There's no ring and Dan's brain stops functioning.

Blair slowly walks over to him and places her clutch on top of the bar. "Cat got your tongue"

Dan shuts his eyes, trying to think and rubs his forehead nervously. "I'm sorry. It's just I haven't seen you in a long time"

The glisten coming from Blair's lips reminds him of how he would spend hours thinking of ways to describe them from afar. She sits on the stool right next to him and her perfume leads to nostalgic memories of having her on his bed, with her biting his earlobe and begging him for more.

"What are you doing in Paris?"

"Waldorf Designs" Blair answers and looks at him like that explains everything. "I read you were in the city"

He wonders if she read his book, because if she did, it will turn the conversation into an awkward one. The cat really does have his tongue, so he nods slowly and takes a sip from his drink.

Blair lips curve into a smile and she props her head with her elbow on the top of the counter, staring into his eyes.

"How is everything?" Blair asks.

Dan smiles and looks down, body facing her. "Good, I think"

"You don't sound too confident"

"Well it's hard to say how I've been since I've had very little time to think" Dan explains and then signals for another drink to the bartender. "How about you? I noticed you're not wearing a ring"

"How very astute of you Daniel" Blair says as her head leaves her knuckles to sit up straight. "We're divorced"

A crease forms in-between his brows and his eyes soften. "Why?"

"Sometimes people grow apart" Blair tells him and shrugs her shoulders.

Dan clears his throat, trying to remain calm. He doesn't know what to do with this new information, but his deep thought is interrupted with a few girls yelling out his name from one of the lounge chairs from across the room. They're waving their hands at him, looking clearly wasted.

"That's rather odd" Dan says.

"It's not. You're book is amazing. The end of each chapter left me breathless" Blair tells him, staring into his eyes intently with those darkening eyes of hers, and he can only swallow nervously.

* * *

By the end of the night, he's in Blair's ridiculously luxurious apartment, pressing her up against the wall of her bedroom. It doesn't feel real, but Dan doesn't care because he wants to make the most of it. He's holding her more possessively then he has ever before, taking in the scent of her skin and tasting anything he sees bare.

"I want it like chapter 8" Blair whispers sexily below his ear.

He pulls his lips away and sees a dead serious Blair staring at him, breathing out of control. Her lips are fully blown and look as though they've been sucked on, and it's driving him insane. He feels like he's already going to burst, which is unfortunate, because he doesn't think he would ever forgive himself if he missed out on being inside her once again.

"Say it" Blair whispers, in a plea as the tips of her fingers slide over to his cheek, barley grazing.

"He can feel it taking root in his soul, or whatever part of him it is that swells and swoons whenever he thinks or speaks to her"

Blair loses it and pulls him in for a bruising kiss, which eventually leads them to her bed. He fulfills her request by sinking into her, heels still on and dress risen up to her waist, but not off, exactly like the chapter.

* * *

Dan dreams that night and it's not one he considers comforting. He's in Central Park attending Blair's wedding all over again and he's listening to her remind Serena how beneath he is of them.

That's the last thing he remembers. His eyes slowly flutter open and he sees Blair sleeping peacefully and snuggling close to his bare chest, with her arm wrapped around him. Dan doesn't know what he just did. He wasn't really thinking. Rather, he was following his heart, but reality sets in and he believes Blair probably considers it to be a one night stand.

Instead of having to deal with the awkwardness in the morning, Dan decides it's better to leave in the middle of the night without a goodbye.

He tucks Blair's arm aside and gets off the bed to zip up his pants, but the sound causes Blair to start rolling her head around until her eyes slowly flutter open.

Blair rubs her eyes and sits up, blanket covering her body. "Mmmmm…Dan?"

"Go back to sleep" Dan tells her in a soft voice.

Blair's brows furrow in curiosity. "Where are you going?"

"Back to my hotel" He answers and starts buttoning up her shirt. "I think this was a bad idea"

She sticks her little black nail polished fingers out and grasps the air, signaling for him to come over. Dan complies and sits on the edge of the bed where she takes his fingers in-between hers.

A smirk forms on Blair's lips. "Why would you ever think this is a bad idea?" Dan fights a smile and bites his lower lip nervously. "Especially when I don't think you're over me"

He feels a lump in his throat as he meets her eyes.

"I'm not"

"I know" Blair's lips pout a little and she then presses a soft kiss on his knuckles. "Stop thinking and come back to bed"

Blair tugs him along and he does as she wishes, falling back to bed with her.

* * *

When Dan awakes in the morning, Blair's not around but the scent of bacon streams up his nose. He goes downstairs to see Blair dressed and in an animated conversation with someone on the phone. She seems frustrated which makes him think it's her assistant.

Blair sees him and uses her hand to gesture him over while still yelling on the phone. The food is very godly. There are too many things to choose from, but he goes with the scramble eggs and shrimps.

He slowly chews on his food and watches Blair work on the phone, wondering if this was what breakfast was like in the Bass household.

Blair looks over to Dan. "Listen, I have to go, but have the designs laid out on my desk by eleven" An apologetic smile appears on her lips. "I'm sorry"

"It's alright" Dan says and goes back to his food, feeling nervous.

When did he start getting so nervous around her? He remembers a time when it was easy to be himself with her, but now, it feels like he has to constantly keep her attention and not bore her.

Blair's staring at him. He can feel it as he chews his food. He looks over and sees her smiling at him, which makes him smile. Blair seems different from what he remembers. She's more calm and mature. She's sort of what he pictured her being like in her mid-twenties before the whole getting married to Chuck in Central Park thing happened.

"What are your plans for this evening?" Blair asks, twisting her hair around her finger, reminding him of her younger days.

"I don't know, usually my manager plans things for me" Dan replies, poking at his eggs. "There may be a party in my hotel room"

"Oh wow, I didn't know you were one of those people" Blair teases him, leading him to shake his head and smile. "I have a surprise"

"You do?"

"Yes" Blair nods slowly. "I'll pick you up at 6?"

"Okay, yeah"

* * *

Dan leaves Blair's apartment and the first person he calls is Vanessa.

"You're insane" Vanessa says on the other line.

"You said I should call her" Dan replies, pacing back and forth in his hotel room.

"That was before I knew everything. Besides, I only wanted you to call her to get some closure, not to sleep with her!"

Dan's brows brow furrow in worry. "I wasn't thinking"

"Then end it before it gets too far" Vanessa tells him.

He takes a breath, and takes out a miniature bottle of alcohol from the fridge. "I have to see this out because it will eat at me if I don't"

Vanessa sighs. "Who knew you could be so melodramatic"

Dan laughs and falls on his bed. "I want this"

"You're going to hurt all over again. It's full circle with you"

Vanessa is such a good friend, and it makes him feel guilty for not attempting to mend things with her earlier. She has his best interests at heart, and he hates himself for letting his better judgment become clouded.

"I love her more than anyone Vanessa, it being family or being a friend. I love her so much, that at one point, I would have rather seen her with Chuck than me, because that was what her heart wanted" Dan explains.

"Then I have nothing else to add" Vanessa says, sounding a little defeated, but Dan will take it.

* * *

Right on time, Blair's limo is waiting for Dan outside the lobby of his hotel. She's staring at him and presenting an inviting smile when he enters the limo. It's not as devilish as it once was.

"Did you spend your day thinking of me?" Dan asks with a smirk playing along his lips. The nerves are fading off and he's finally starting to feel like himself around Blair again.

"As if Humphrey" she rolls her eyes, but he knows his words bother her more than she's letting on. He sees her fingers tightly gripping onto her thigh.

"You're nervous" Dan says, scooting closer to Blair. "Am I making you nervous?" He looks at her innocently, pointing to himself.

Blair looks at Dan with narrowing eyes. "Being cute will get you nowhere Humphrey"

As Blair stares out the window to ignore him, he leans in and presses a soft kiss below her ear where the small black beauty mark lies and then moves his lips to her ear.

"Her mouth was sweet, like nectar for his hungry heart and it sometimes made him question whether it was his destiny to fall in love with her" Dan whispers and nibbles on her ear, knowing Blair's eyes are shut as a small moan escapes her lips. She gives him access to milky skinned neck and abides by her wishes, feeling her hand pulling him closer.

"When did you start thinking about me?" Dan asks with his lips against Blair's neck.

"What makes you think I started?" Blair asks back all hot and breathy, which is driving him insane. He can already feel his dick waiting to spring out of his pants.

Dan's nose rubs against Blair's neck, while her skin is in-between his teeth. He's become addicted to her scent and she didn't seem to mind. It feels like they've reached a point in where she would let him do whatever he wants to her, and he thinks it may be because she trusts him or she may just be as crazy about him. But that's not something Dan wants to think about.

It doesn't just slide by him when it he's sitting in the car for what feels like hours. He initially thought they were doing a simple dinner and a movie, but it's becomes obvious that certainly isn't the case. When he starts to see water outside the window, he realizes they're far away from Paris.

* * *

Blair takes Dan to her beachside home. It's what he likes about Blair, how spontaneous and unpredictable she can be.

He slices and dices the vegetables as he prepares them dinner in the kitchen, hearing the sound of waves from the ocean. Blair's trying to help as best as she can, by reading the ingredients and using the measuring cup for accuracy.

"You're good at that" Blair says, watching him slicing the onions on the cutting board.

His lips curve and he continues with his motions, but suddenly feels small soft hands underneath his shirt and molding his chest.

"I missed your body" Blair whispers with her cheek pressing up against his back and her hands sliding soothingly up and down his chest.

"How come you never said anything before?" Dan asks. Blair's body goes stiff. It's not something she was expecting, but Dan's curious. He wants answers and he's not going to let it go until he gets them.

Blair hands leave his body as she takes a step back. "Well this is certainly an odd time to be inquiring about the past"

Dan turns around, back leaning against the counter of the kitchen. "You're the one who said. I just want to know how it's possible, considering you once told Serena it took you weeks of showering to get rid of Brooklyn"

"Right, because I fucked you in the alley and then spent the rest of my days showering to get rid of those germs from Brooklyn" She gives him an incredulous look. "Words are words Dan. They don't mean anything"

"That's good to know" Dan says, looking down and cleaning his hands off with the dish towel. "I'm going to assume nothing you say should be taken seriously anymore"

Blair shuts her eyes in what seems like a self-scolding manner. "That's not what I meant"

"I'm going to take a walk down the beach" Dan tells Blair and leaves, wanting some time alone to think over their conversation.

* * *

Dan stares out in the ocean, sitting on the sand in deep thought. There is no doubt in his mind he wants Blair, but sometimes it could difficult to be around her. She brings back memories he wants to forget, and yet there isn't a day he doesn't think about her.

A sigh escapes his lips from sheer exhaustion and he stands up to head back into the house. When he sets foot inside the living room, there is no sight of Blair. He reaches the conclusion that she may have left for her room to sleep. With some free time, Dan pulls out his laptop and stares at his blank white page, thinking of what to write.

"What are you still doing here?" Blair asks, looking at him like he's beneath her and holding her glass of wine. "I thought you would have hitched a taxi back to Paris by now"

A crease forms in-between Dan's eyes. "What the hell's your problem?"

"Poor Humphrey, always playing the victim" Blair smirks, looking a little out of balance. "Being heartbroken is just an excuse, one for which I can't find a reason to care for"

He puts his laptop aside and gets off the sofa to stand in front of Blair. "It's a little different when you believe the girl is your soul-mate"

Her breathing becomes uneven and those hard eyes become soft and filled with vulnerability. There is still a hard look pointed in his direction, but it doesn't mean anything because everything has become too real. Chuck isn't standing in the way anymore and she knows there's nowhere else to run.

Blair places her glass of wine on the coffee table. "I think it's time for bed"

She tries to take a step toward the staircase, but Dan grabs a hold of her arm to press her back against his chest.

"You belong with me" Dan breathes against Blair's neck and grabs a hold of her waist possessively. He sees her eyes rolls back, and can feel her hips moving against his.

"I know" Blair says and gives him more access to her neck.

It's all Dan needs for a confirmation. He takes her to the couch and fucks her into oblivion.

* * *

A shirtless Dan awakes on Blair's bed. He hears the shower running in the bathroom, so he heads downstairs to surprise Blair with breakfast.

In the middle of his cooking, he hears a set of keys unlocking the doorknob in the foyer of the house. He walks over to the foyer to see who's opening the door.

To his surprise, it's Chuck Bass, wearing a bowtie and holding a batch of peonies. He notices a crease forming in-between Chuck's brows and realizes Chuck's just as surprised as him.

"What are you doing here Humphrey?" Chuck asks, staring at Dan's unbuttoned shirt revealing his chest.

"What am I doing here?" Dan points to himself and then points a finger to Chuck. "What are you doing?"

"I'm here to see my wife" Chuck answers, not looking very happy with Dan. "So again, what the fuck are you doing in my house?"

There goes his heart. Everything in the past few days is a lie and he's back where he started when Blair was indecisive. It's full circle.

Dan swallows hard and his eyes soft meet Chuck's. "I'm sorry. I didn't know she was still married"

The peonies from Chuck's hand fall to the floor and his skin turns more pale than usual. Chuck looks completely devastated with the news and slowly falls back to sit against the wall.

Dan never thought he would be a home wrecker.

"Dan" Blair calls out in a sing songy voice as she heads down the staircase. "I smell waffles"

A lot of things are running through his head. For Blair, he may have been someone who builds her up so she can go back to Chuck. Or she's miserable and looking for an affair. Neither is something he wants to be a part of.

As soon as Blair arrives in the foyer, her face drops.

It doesn't seem like Chuck has anything to add, with him still looking in deep thought. However, Dan wants to get the hell out of there. Even with his heart feeling like it had been stabbed millions of times, he moves forward and starts buttoning up his shirt.

Blair doesn't stay quiet for long as she follows him outside to the main entrance of the home.

"Will you just listen to me" Blair shouts and grabs a hold of Dan's wrist.

He turns around to meet her hurt eyes, making it impossible to pull his hand away. No matter how mad he is at Blair, he will never do anything that may hurt her.

"What?" Dan asks in a sharp tone.

"Please don't do this" Blair pleads in a soft tone of voice.

"You lied to me because you knew I would never sleep with you if you were married" Dan says, looking at her in disbelief. "You fucking used me"

"I didn't!" Blair protests in a plea for him to listen.

"Blair, let go"

Blair's grip only tightens. "I love you"

He swallows hard and shuts his eyes to take in the words. "I have waited forever to hears those words, but now, I feel too numb to care"

She finally releases her grip of his wrist, looking shattered, and he leaves without looking back.

* * *

After calling a cab, Dan tosses his messenger bag on the arm chair and lies down on his bed, curling into a ball as tears fall roll down from the corner of his eyes. His phone vibrates and he throws it across the room.

He's a mess and it's because Blair has ruined him. It's gone too far and he has allowed it to. There is no one else to blame but himself. If he ever wants to be happy, then it's time to stop spending hours thinking about Blair.

* * *

Dan transfers to Stanford University. He decides to live off campus and rents out a one bedroom apartment which isn't the most luxurious, but a life of luxury is something Dan wanted to avoid.

He changes his phone number and gives it to his father, but requests no else be given it. New York has become something he wants to forget, at least for the time being.

The campus is exactly what he pictured a campus in California looking like. It's green and sunny, and there are even a few water fountains which makes Dan laugh at the ridiculousness of the campus.

He makes friends with classmates who are at least four years younger than him, which is strange, but he needs to adjust if he has his sights set on graduating. They do recognize him as a famous author, but they also recognize him as the ex of a former princess who ran away from her wedding. However, the people on campus treat him like any other student and it's what he likes about college. The people there are mature and intellectual.

Dan likes being normal. He enjoys spending his free time on the weekends playing pickup football and soccer, but the thing he misses most is going to a regular party with regular people like him.

The semester flies by and Dan stays in Stanford for the summer because he's aiming to graduate as soon as possible, which means summer classes. It might sound annoying to some, but summer classes are a breeze. He's always been advised to take hard classes during the summer from his peers because they're easier.

Dan has a lot of time on his hands during the summer. He buys a chrome black post war retro motorcycle and customizes it to his liking. It cost a lot of money, but that's something Dan doesn't need to worry about anymore. Because he's in California, he takes rides along the coast to sight see and enjoy the beauty around him, which makes him feel at peace.

Of course, Dan isn't spending his nights alone. He does have his fair share of one night stands from the women he meets at bar's. It's sort of the process of living and enjoying life he realizes. Women are the most beautiful creatures on this planet and each one is a work of art from the hands of god. It's why he makes sure to send the girl's he sleeps with a flower that reminds him of them as well as a small poem written by him.

* * *

Dan graduates from Stanford after the end of the fall semester. He mails his degree out to his father and rides back to Los Angeles on his motorcycle.

He knows for sure there is no way he can top his previous book. He doesn't want to spend the three years writing a book in a secluded mansion again. His publisher and the production company which owns the rights to _Inside_ have been pressuring him to write a sequel. He agrees, but requests they give a fair amount of time to do it.

_Inside _left off with Claire Carlisle leaving him and her friends for a Prince, which made it sort of difficult to come up with a plot for a sequel. He started getting distracted with other things, like going to an art gallery with his intellectual friends. The concept of a sequel is left in the backburner for a while, but then his publishers start threatening him with the possibility of hiring a ghost writer. It wakes Dan up to the reality of the situation and he starts spending most of his time trying to come up with a plot.

An idea for the plot of the sequel to _Inside _comes when Dan looks through his mail and sees an invitation to his 10-year high school reunion.

He goes online and buys a ticket to New York on the day before his high school reunion.

* * *

_Next chapter is Blair's POV which takes place where this chapter ends, but I have no idea when it will be posted. _


	2. Chapter 2

_Here is the final part of the story. Hopefully, it will meet everyone's expectations. I'd also like to note, this chapter is different from the last and there is a reason this story is rated M._

* * *

Blair's been waiting for what feels like forever for her high school reunion. She didn't expect to be divorced twice by the time it occurred, but surely her success with Waldorf Designs was enough to make an impression.

She touches up her cheeks, sitting on her vanity chair in front of the mirror with Jenny Humphrey by her side.

"How do I look?"

"Perfect" Jenny tells her, hands on both of her shoulders. "That dress is one to remember"

She looks over the red floor length dress, with chic cap sleeves and a V-shape cut between her chest, displaying her curves.

"Chuck plans to be there" Jenny says, leaving Blair to sigh and take a step away from the mirror. "It wouldn't be such a bad idea to talk to him"

"And what should I say exactly? Our divorce was nasty and it became very personal. After something like that I don't see either of us being able to wipe the dirt off our hands" Blair explains and goes to pick out a set of earrings.

"I don't know" Jenny shrugs her shoulders. "You guys are always staring at each other, and I thought there may be a reason for it"

"Well there isn't" Blair quickly dismisses and then looks at her reflection one last time before leaving her bedroom.

* * *

The first person Blair's eyes scan for is Chuck. Just like she expected, he's wearing something out of the ordinary, trying to draw attention to himself. He's holding a smirk, and not trying to hide the fact that his eyes are undressing her.

Blair's lips curve and she sway's her hips away from Chuck's curious eyes, looking for a drink at the reunion. She knows his heart still bleeds _Blair Waldorf_, and it's always nice to feel wanted.

She sees people she hasn't spoken to in years. They're all back with their own stories. Some are successful, while others are still living off their parent's success. For Blair, knowing she's one of the most successful people in the ballroom makes her night.

"Did you know Karen is pregnant?" Serena says, wide eyed as she approaches Blair, holding a champagne flute.

"I thought she was a lesbian" Blair whispers and tries to maintain her composure. "Was she just experimenting?"

"I don't know B, but she's pregnant and here with her husband" Serena replies.

Blair shakes her head and her eyes slowly drift over to Chuck, who seems to have been keeping his eye on her the whole night.

"Why don't you just have sex with him already" Serena says bluntly, leaving Blair point a glare in her friends direction.

If not Chuck, then who else? He's become the only constant man in her life who is able to hold her attention. It's not like there was a line of men she had eyes for.

"Oh my god" Serena says softly and slowly, eyes looking mesmerized.

Due to Serena looking astonished, Blair presses her lips in displeasure and turns around. She almost drops her drink and her heart races when she lays eyes on a dark haired man dressed in midnight blue.

"I didn't think he'd show" Serena adds as Blair can only swallow hard.

Neither did Blair. For all she knew, he was gone. Jenny hadn't heard from him in years and Blair came to the conclusion that he was never going to let her see him again.

He's picking off food from the tray the cater waiter's holding and scoping out the ballroom. Right when his eyes stop dead on her, Nate rather annoyingly blocks the view and greets Dan.

Blair's very curious as to what he's doing here. Maybe he's like her and wants to throw his success in everyone's face. Either way, she needs to know.

"Oh god, he's coming over" Serena whispers, attempting to hide her face with her hand as she looks down.

"Look who I found" Nate says cheerily as he pulls Dan along with his arm around Dan's neck. "He was looking like a fish out of water, so I thought I'd bring him along to some familiar faces"

Dan's eyes first go to Serena as he swallows painstakingly hard. "Serena"

There's pain in the smile he's giving Serena. Blair can't help but think he may have regrets. Either that, or he feels guilty for all the harm he's done.

"I tried to call you" Dan tells Serena.

Serena eye's drift away, as she desperately wants to avoid meeting Dan's eyes. "I didn't see a reason to answer. You made things pretty clear"

"That doesn't mean I don't care about you" Dan says and inches his way closer. "I did love you"

"Can we just not talk about it? Especially here" Serena asks, pinching the bridge of her nose in-between her finger and thumb.

Dan backed away and nodded, not staring at Blair once. "I don't want to ruin your evening so…" He left them and Blair's eyes followed all the way over to him looking for a table.

* * *

Blair sits by a table with Serena and Carter, who is now her best friend's fiancé. She herself watches Dan speak to people who would have never said a word to him back in high school.

He's nothing like Chuck. There's no bitterness or anger with him. He's sort of moved on with his life and accepted her for who she was.

It drives her mad. She wants him to hurt her or at least show some kind of emotion.

"You seem tense B" Serena says, noticing how Blair's fingers are digging into the table cloth.

"You should invite Dan over" Blair tells Serena, clearly wanting to avoid Serena's previous comment. "I think it would be good for us all to catch up"

"That wouldn't be such a bad idea" Serena ponders and stares at Carter to gauge his reaction.

"I think it's a friendly gesture" Carter agrees and places his hand on top of Serena's, leading Serena to smile at Carter.

* * *

Blair leaves the lobby of the hotel where her limo awaits her. The doorman opens the door for her and she sets foot in the cold air of December, only to see Dan attempting to gesture a cab over.

Biting her lower lip, she mulls it over and quickly makes her decision.

"Humphrey" Blair calls out, leading Dan to turn in her direction.

He shoves his hands down his pockets and approaches her solemnly.

"What can I do for you Blair?"

He doesn't call her Waldorf anymore. It makes her realize it's not the way it used to be when they were kids.

Blair looks down, knowing the wind is causing her cheeks and nose to redden.

"Do you need a lift?"

He squints his eyes to where she can barely make out those beautiful brown orbs. They don't dance around the way they once did. He's clearly not the same. He seems a little more serious. But that's okay, she's not asking for much. She only needs a little bit because that's enough.

"Umm…..Sure, why not" Dan says and smiles a little.

* * *

Dan's being rather quiet in the limo, staring out the window as she stares at him in the corner of her eyes. He smells different, but it's a good different. It's not just soap, shampoo, and deodorant anymore.

"Are you currently working on something?" Blair asks, hoping it sparks up a conversation.

Dan turns to Blair and she gets a good look of his chiseled features. "I am, but I can't really get into the details"

She bats her long eyelashes and shyly drifts her eyes down to her long nails. "Can you at least confirm whether or not it should garner my attention?"

"Oh, I think it's worthy of your attention" Dan says and she looks over to see his lips curled in amusement.

"Mmh" Blair replies, mouth shut and leaning her head back on the leather seat. She shut her eyes thinking of what it could be about.

She feels him shift closer and her breath hitches.

"Are you okay?" He asks, and she stares at him from the corner of eyes. She swallows painstakingly hard and sees the corner of his lips curl. "Here, let me help you"

The tips of his fingers begin to play with the lapels of her coat and Blair bites the skin on her hand, trying to fight back a moan. One by one, they slowly pop off and she can only lick around her lips. His hand slowly slides under her coat and begins to knead at her breast. She finally lets out a small moan and places her hand on top of his, practically begging him to grasp harder.

"After all this time, your taste still remains in my mouth?" Dan whispers, pressing his nose against the skin of her neck. Oh god, she's wet already.

When she feels his tongue trace across her skin, she pulls his head closer and rolls her eyes back.

"Dan" Blair breathes softly and he pulls his lips away to stare at her, and watch the contortion of her face.

"What are you looking for Princess?" Dan smirks and moves his hand down in-between her thighs.

Blair frowns. "Don't call me that"

And without any hesitation, his two fingers are in her slickness, leaving Blair to hide her face in the crook of his neck. She bites his neck to stop herself from making any noise and her fingers desperately cling on to his shirt.

"Is this what you want Snow White?" Dan asks softly, with a teasing smile.

Blair lets her head fall back to meet his eyes with hers still fluttering and she sees a hint of vulnerability in them.

"Yes"

He pulls her in for a kiss and she can't help but moan as her fingers grasp onto his shirt. She's hungry for him and his fingers aren't enough. She makes sure her tongue and lips tell him she needs more.

An uneven breathing Dan finally pulls away, both from between her legs and lips. She knows what he's about to do, and if it was anyone else, she wouldn't even consider it, but her name is in his every breath and his name is all over her skin.

He teases her lips with his wet finger until her tongue darts out and she takes his fingers in the mouth to taste herself. His eyes begin to roll back and a satisfied groan leaves his lips, which only makes her suck harder and moan.

The limo stops, but Dan is still breathing heavy and staring intently into her eyes.

"Thanks for the lift" He says, slowly taking his fingers out from her mouth.

And then, he's gone, leaving her wet and unfulfilled.

* * *

That night, Blair lies on her bed and stares up at the ceiling. She feels a burning sensation on her lips and touches them with her fingers.

Blair should not have been surprised there was still hope for them. She knows he was goner once he laid eyes on her at the reunion. It took her while, but she slowly realized they were meant for one another and there was nothing that would ever get in their way.

She licks her lips and slowly guides her fingers down to where their needed most while thinking of him.

* * *

"B" Serena says excitedly as she enters the dining room where Blair was having her breakfast.

Blair sips on her coffee and places the newspaper down to give Serena her full attention. "I have literally two minutes before I need to go upstairs and change"

Waldorf Designs had been eating most of her time away. She knows she's not the best designer, but putting in more hours than her competitors is her way of making up the ground.

"It's Friday and what better way to spend it then with Carter and I" Serena proposes with a mischievous smile.

"What exactly did you have in mind?" Blair asks, taking in the bait.

"Dinner with the gang" Serena answers and shrugs her shoulders innocently.

Blair looks down, and smiles. "I like the sound of that"

She thinks it's a good excuse to see Dan, who she has yet to speak to since their night in her limo. Like always, she isn't brave enough to call. There is no way she is putting herself out there again. Besides, he should be the one calling her. He was the boy after all.

* * *

Blair leaves work early to read her favorite passages from Dan's novel. Her lower lip is clenched in-between her teeth, thinking of how subtly twisted he is.

Finally, she leaves her thoughts when she realizes there isn't much time to get dressed.

Blair quickly recognizes Serena did indeed invite everyone. She even sees Nelly Yuki, who she has barley spoken a word to in years pass.

She looks around Serena's penthouse until her eyes land on Dan, who's wearing a black long sleeve and dusty camel colored garment dyed jeans. He's in the middle of a conversation with Chuck by the stairs, and she has a feeling he's probably apologizing for his actions.

Blair could always tell with his eyes. They said so much, and yet she can't figure out why it took her so long to realize why they looked like that when they were staring at her.

They shake hands and Dan excuses himself. Her six sense tells her he's probably headed for the bathroom, which makes for a perfect opportunity to corner him. She follows him down the hallway and when he opens the door to the bathroom, she quickly shuts it with force and wraps an arm around his waist to pulls him against her chest.

There's no reason to say anything because he knows who it is. So she listens to his breathing become shallower and slowly slides her hand underneath the waist of his pants.

"Blair" Dan groans in pleasure when she gets a handful of his balls.

"Do you think of me every time someone touches your balls?" Blair whispers in the shell of his ear, while they can hear the laughter ringing down the hall where the party is. "Isn't that what you wrote?"

His eyes shut and he rolls head back, giving Blair more access to his neck. She presses an open mouth kiss his neck, tracing her tongue along his skin as she feels his length growing hard under her grip.

"Take me home tonight?" Blair proposes softly with her lips still pressing against Dan's neck.

"Yes" Dan answers barley.

She places a final chaste kiss on his neck and releases her grip. Dan's body immediately relaxes and he turns around to lean back against the wall, but she leaves before he has a chance to say anything more.

* * *

Everyone has left and only Serena's closest remain to catch up, and even gossip on the events of the party. Chuck of course chose not to stay, stating he had some flight to catch in the morning.

So with the guests gone, it's only her, Serena, Dan, and Nate, sitting in the dining room and drinking wine. Carter is in bed already, which she doesn't mind. Blair prefers it to be them four, but only for tonight.

"So what have you been doing man?" Nate asks, lean back against his chair and holding a lazy smile.

Dan raises his brows, thinking about it. "Honestly, other than graduating from Stanford, I've done nothing productive" He leaves his thoughts and looks at Nate. "What about you?"

"I'm still a Consultant. Just for another firm this time" Nate answers.

Blair rolls her eyes. She finds this small talk to be boring. In fact, everything about Nate is boring.

Blair stands up from the chair. "Well, it's been a long night"

"You're leaving already B?" Serena asks, sounding disappointed.

"Yes, I'm tired and need some to catch up on some sleep" Blair explains and picks up her purse.

Blair leaves, but Dan doesn't keep his promise. He instead stays and she heads home, feeling confused and angry.

* * *

A sigh leaves her lips when she enters her mother's penthouse. With Dan back in New York, the reality of how lonely she truly is begins to strike her.

She slowly climbs her way up the staircase to get ready for bed with her head down.

Hours pass, and her eyes still won't shut. Too much is running through her head and sleep seems impossible. The sound of her door opening garners her attention. She sits up instantly and sees Dan poking his head through.

"Do you want have some ice cream?"

* * *

"This was not exactly how I pictured my visit to New York" Dan tells Blair and feeds her a spoonful of ice cream by the dining table. "But when I saw you" Dan swallows hard. "It was just like before"

"Exactly" Blair agrees and meets Dan's eyes.

"When did you get divorced?"

She licks the corner of her lip, where the small bit of chocolate remains and her chest begins to pound thinking of the day she last saw him.

"It was shortly after Chuck had caught us" Blair answers and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "It might not have been over for Chuck, but it was certainly over for me"

Dan leans in and his face softens. "Why?"

"He wasn't what I was looking for" Blair explains as she shrugs her shoulders and looks away.

"You didn't have to hide the ring. You could've just told me. I would've waited" Dan tells Blair and lifts her chin up.

She takes his hand and places a kiss on the back of his palm. "I didn't want wait"

Dan chuckles lightly. "You were never the most patient person"

"When I want something, I have to have it" Blair says, looking absorbed in Dan's eyes. She maneuvers her way onto his lap and then grasps the back of his hair to tugs his head back roughly, taking him in. "Do you still love me?"

He slides his hand up to mold her breast. "You say it first. It's only fair"

A smile becomes of her lips. "I love you"

For the rest of the night, he whispers it against her skin and makes her come on the chair of her mother's dining room.

* * *

"I will write you until…" Dan then looks at her and brushes a wet strand of hair off the corner of her lip. "I don't know. I'm finally out of words"

Blair can only smile, but makes sure not to give him a smile that shows too much. She's waiting for him to disappear. She's always been waiting for him to leave. They don't belong together in the sense that he's too good for her. But this time, she'll wait and let him leave.

She doesn't think she can go through another heartbreaking relationship. Nate made her realize she needed to adjust to the way boy's viewed her. And when she changed completely for Chuck, it ended in heartbreak as well.

For the first time, she's herself with a boy, and that would make it the most devastating.

"Blaaaair" Dan sings softly in her ear to get a hold of her attention. He rolls off her body and falls back on the bed while letting a light laugh escape his throat. "What's going through that head of yours?"

Other than the fact that she's way too happy-oh, there is nothing else to share. So she hides her face in his chest, sucking and biting his nipple.

"Do you think Serena's going to be okay with this?" Dan asks.

Blair lifts her head to see him staring up at the ceiling and smiling. She maneuvers her way up to hide her face in his neck, with their limbs tangled, and her fingers in the back of his neck. She can feel the sweat deeply rooted in his dark hair with the tips of her fingers.

It's a pleasing feeling to know she's the one who caused it.

"Serena knows everything" She tells him and Dan cocks an eyebrow. "Yes Humphrey, I told her about our dark sex filled weekend in France" She straddles him and runs a hand through her hair to push it away from her eyes, giving him a devilish smile. "Is that okay?"

"More than okay princess" Dan says.

She instantly frowns, but then his hand slides up her breast and she quickly forgets.

* * *

Blair takes Dan with her to her mother's charity ball the next day, wanting to make a statement right away. But to most of the attendees, it's just another day in the Upper East Side. It doesn't garner the amount of gossip it once would. She runs Waldorf Designs, and he's a well-known author, so there isn't much to discuss.

Like always, her mother doesn't have much of an opinion when it comes to her romantic relationships. She greets Dan the same way she did with the others and Blair wishes her mother would just for once show some kind of preference.

Serena seems happy for them, and whispers something in Dan's ear which Blair's curious to know. But as long as Dan smiles, she's fine with not knowing.

* * *

They leave the charity ball early to catch the 10 O'clock show to watch Scorsese's new movie which Dan's been dying to see. In all honesty, Blair was never one to mind violence. As long as the movie's tasteful, she'll watch it.

"What is men's fascination with violence and fruitless cursing?" Blair asks.

"Shhhhhhh" Dan hushes Blair as they sit in the movie theater.

Blair frowns and pinches his arm.

Dan jumps in his chair and glares in Blair's direction. "Jesus Waldorf" She folds her arms across her chest and taps her index finger across her elbow impatiently, waiting for an answer. "If you must know, it's called human anatomy 101"

"Actually, recent studies indicate that male testosterone is a factor, but has very little to do with it. Unless of course you're using Anabolic Steroids" Blair points out and presents a fake smile. "So try again"

"Now is not the time" Dan says, trying to pay attention to what's on screen.

"Now is the perfect time Humphrey. Trailers are utterly useless. I will never watch a majority of these movies" Blair replies, and scrunches her face to the sight of a shirtless Jack Nicholson.

She looks over to Dan, whose lips are curved slightly and she tries to fight a smile, but then she realizes she's too old to be playing games. So she gives him a white tooth smile.

He kisses her on the cheek and his eyes fall back on the screen, but at least she knows she's the one to manufacture that smile on his face.

* * *

Blair throws a glass vase at Dan's direction, but the bastard ducks in time and it smashes into pieces against the wall of her bedroom.

"Shit Blair. I'm sorry okay" He says, looking a little frightened.

"How could you forget!" Blair shouts.

"I didn't forget, they just extended my book tour" Dan explains.

She purses her lips and folds her arms across her chest. Due to the silence, he walks up warily and puts his hands out on defense.

"I promise, I'll make it up to you" Dan says as he approaches her. He cups her jaw and leans in for a kiss, but Blair is not going to let it go that easily. She bites his lip hard and he pulls away whimpering in pain.

"What the fu-"

She then slaps him across the face and makes sure she's using the hand with the engagement ring. Dan's purses his lips and breathes throw his nose, but Blair does not care one bit. He deserved it.

He grabs a hold of her waist possessively and turns her around, making sure they face the mirror.

"You're crazy" Dan whispers in her ear and slides his hand up and down her waist.

"Can't handle getting tossed around by a women" Blair says gasping a little and rolling her head back to his shoulder.

She clenches her jaw tightly when his hands go underneath her dress to tug her thong off. He bends her over the grey vanity chair and first teases her opening, until her whimpers plead him to enter. And then he does, in one hard thrust and the sound of their skins slapping against each other is heard.

He starts sliding in and out, with her moans filling the room.

She leans her head back until her lips meet his neck and she has her hand grasping onto the back of his head.

"Do you still love me?" Blair asks, biting the skin on his neck.

"I always love you"


	3. Alternative Chapter 2

_This is the alternative chapter and so everything in chapter 1 happens, but nothing in chapter 2 does._

* * *

She watches him kiss Serena on her twenty second straight night of being in New York alone without Chuck. One last goodbye peck and he's gone, brushing past her like they were just strangers connected through a mere third party.

Blair doesn't say much anymore, unless she's at work where she can take her frustration out on others. She does like Serena being in New York for once. Her best friend had followed Humphrey over to California and it left her with only a single Nate, which isn't much.

"No Chuck?" Serena frowns.

"No Chuck" Blair confirms and sighs.

They catch up on whatever they can, and she even listens to Serena talk about Dan. It's the last person she wants to have a conversation about because everything about him is repulsive. And yet she can't help but wonder what he thinks about the new René Magritte exhibit.

Serena tries to lift her mood, but it does no good. She's been alone for so long, and now with Christmas vastly approaching, she confidently can't say she'll be spending it with her husband.

"You know what B? I think I may just know what you need" Serena says standing off the bed, leading Blair to arch a brow.

"Come on" Serena insists, gesturing with her hand to follow.

* * *

Blair has no idea why they're making their way over to the rooftop of the Empire, but it seems Serena has something important to show her.

When they do reach the roof, a gasp escapes her lips and she covers her mouth in shock.

There are rose pedals leading her all the way over to the table and a violinist standing beside it, making beautiful music with his bow. It's over the top and has Chuck written all over it.

She feels a sigh of relief realizing Chuck didn't bail on her.

"Serena, I think your part here is done" Chuck says, startling Blair as he appears through a door Blair had never noticed before.

He's in a maroon tux and it seems he may have forgotten how cold it is.

Serena leaves them to have a quiet intimate dinner. Blair can't help but smile as she starts out with the caviar. She's here, on top of a roof holding memories she would like to forget, but, she's here with her husband and that makes it special.

She tries to listen intently to what Chuck has to say and he goes on about Bass Industries and how well it's doing.

She does notice he never once inquires about Waldorf Designs and it makes her think. She is human, and does remember him doing this regularly before they were married. When they reconciled, she recalls everything being about Bart and Bass Industries.

Eventually, when he's done telling her about his trip, there isn't much else to talk about and so their attention falls back on the food.

As more time passes without any words being exchanged, Blair feels more and more pressure to start a conversation. It's not a comforting quiet. She can only hear music and the silverware against the plates, making her cringe.

Chuck does talk again, but it's about how vile Jack Bass is and Blair can only sigh.

This is a problem that has been mounting after their honeymoon. She thought time apart may help, but Blair cannot lie. She's always been brutally honest.

So she can only drift her eyes down and frown when she comes to term with the fact that Chuck is boring.

* * *

"And I was having a difficult time dealing with it"

Dan tells them he was hurting and Blair's speechless. He doesn't wait for them to respond and she's left with only Nate in the living room.

She sort of feels bad for him. He's pathetic in some ways, but Blair does feel some of the responsibilities for his pathetic ways bear with her. She was the one who apparently broke him.

"I wish you would make up with him" Nate says quietly, leaving her mouth to part open.

She's appalled Nate is suggesting such a thing.

"Why would I ever make up with him, let alone speak to him" Blair replies, looking at Nate questionably.

"You know what Blair" Nate swallows hard and shakes his head. "Sometimes I think you're delusional"

Nate walks off, not wanting to listen to anything she has to say and Blair is still left wondering why she is the one at blame.

* * *

Dan leaves New York shortly after their encounter and as always, Serena follows. It's disappointing to watch Serena fall on her knees for a man. And he was a man who claimed to love her and not Serena, not so long ago.

She sighs as she lies on her bed with Chuck by her side. He's in his double breasted suit, sleeping peacefully, and she's wondering how it's possible. They don't have sex as much anymore and it's beginning to become quite worrisome. She has to admit the sex was mainly driven on games and passionate moments, but now, she's 23 and thrown into a world of maturity.

She finds it to be eerily annoying.

Tossing her duvet gently aside, Blair carefully heads down the staircase and into her office where she unlocks one of the drawers with her key.

In the drawer lies an article that changed the way she looked at herself. As she goes through word by word, she doesn't see something a bitter ex-boyfriend would write. Rather, it's what he actually saw. She knew it the day he wrote it and came to the conclusion that her high school self was the best version.

He did say she was a bully right?

Blair swallows hard as she realizes how much Dan's words affect her.

"_Sometimes I felt like you would change yourself to fit his ideals" _

Blair shuts her eyes, thinking of Dan whispering it in her ear one night, when they stayed up and shared intimate things about each other.

It's how she knows Serena getting dumped is only inevitable.

* * *

Blair becomes accustomed to plastering on a smile for everyone. No one suspects there is anything wrong, except the two people in the marriage.

"Don't I get a say in this?" Chuck asks, staring at Blair incredulously.

"It's my body" Blair shrugs her shoulders, not showing any sympathy.

"God! You can be such a cunt sometimes!" Chuck shouts and paces back and forth in the living room of their townhouse.

Blair shuts her eyes, knowing he doesn't mean it. He's tired and overworked. She isn't helping matters any by being a complete bitch, but it only confirms her decision not to have a baby is a sign of good judgment on her part.

Chuck takes a deep breath and stops pacing back and forth to turn his attention over to Blair. "I'm sorry Blair. I shouldn't have called you that" Chuck then takes both of her hands and kneels down in front of her with soft eyes. "Why do you think this is such a bad idea?"

"I just don't think we're there yet" Blair murmurs as her eyes drift away from his.

That's not the response Chuck's looking for. His nostril's flare and his jaw clenches as he slowly stands up and takes a breath through his nose.

"I'll be in the office" Chuck tells her and storms off.

* * *

After her argument with Chuck, Blair needs an escape and where better than in Brooklyn. It starts out as harmless, like taking a limo ride to Brooklyn and remembering the days of when she was down, she would cross the Brooklyn Bridge.

The thought puts a real genuine smile on her face. She rarely genuinely smiles these days, but she does remember how much he made her smile.

* * *

Chuck's miserable. She can't give him what he's looking for. To her surprise, Chuck's not willing to file for divorce. In his eyes, no matter how much they tried to avoid each other, they would find their way back.

She's given up on that idea, and yet she doesn't file for divorce because there is a sense of pride involved. Not to mention how stubborn she is. Blair doesn't want people thinking she made a mistake. It's already embarrassing enough she has previously been divorced before.

"Humphrey's back in town" Chuck mutters bitterly, hiding his face behind the newspaper as they have breakfast in the dining room.

"Serena filled me in" Blair says coolly as she reviews some designs and sips on her warm coffee.

She knows what's on Chuck's mind. Whenever he's jealous, he's in full scheme mood, which she actually doesn't mind because at least there will be something interesting about him again.

The more Chuck matured, the more they grew apart. It's like she is married to a completely different person now. His behavior has become similar to Bart's, except there isn't a malicious side to him.

"Do you miss talking to him?" Chuck asks softly, trying his best not to sound hurt.

"I miss talking to someone" Blair shrugs her shoulders.

He reaches for her hand and looks in her eyes. "Honey, you can tell me"

"I miss him" Blair confesses and Chuck smiles sadly. "I missed him when he was Rome and then when I wasn't angry anymore, I started missing him again"

The room fills with silence and her eyes slowly drift over to Chuck. He looks hurt, but he did ask, so she's surprised to see him so upset.

"Are you having second thoughts about us?" Chuck asks, with a hint of hurt coming from his voice.

She takes a deep breath through her nose and shuts her eyes.

Blair smiles, even though it hurts her face. "No, of course not. We're inevitable right?"

"What we have is great love. It's complicated, intense, all-consuming. No matter what we do and how much we fight, it'll always pull us in" Chuck says, smiling as he thought back to the memory.

Blair's stomach twists and turns, but her smile widens.

* * *

"I can't remember what it felt like not to be in love with her" Dan says and swallows hard. "I still listen to the messages she left in my voicemail from when we were dating"

Blair's heart is pumping wildly as she stares at sad Dan. For the first time in Blair's life, her brain is drawing a blank and she's stuck there, by the doorway, breathing erratically and watching a catastrophe ensue right in front of her eyes. She wonders if she's a bad person for not giving a fuck that Serena's about to have her heart torn apart.

She watches him apologize to Serena and brushes past her, pretending like a declaration of love for her did not just occur.

"I hope you're happy" Serena murmurs bitterly, fingers clenched together.

She sees Serena's shoulders falling and rising, which makes her worry.

"Why would I be happy?" Blair asks, giving Serena a look of incredulity.

"Because this is what you've always wanted!" Serena snaps and throws her hands up in the air. "The roles are now reversed. Everyone wants you and no one wants me"

Blair puts out a hand in defense. "Okay, you're not thinking clearly right now"

Serena shakes her head and brushing past Blair's shoulder, not saying another word.

* * *

Like always, Serena runs away. It makes Blair worry because of Serena's history with drugs. So with Lily, they hire private investigators to search for Serena. Unfortunately, nothing comes of it and Serena is somewhere in Europe doing god knows what.

Blair spends her nights thinking about Dan when her mind should be on Serena. Her sole concentration should be on figuring out a way to bring Serena back home, but rather, it's on Dan and his words.

One night, she suddenly awakes after a lucid dream of her and Dan having sex in the bathroom after he confronts her on the Ms. Carr situation.

She tries to keep her heavy breathing down as Chuck lies beside her on the mattress. After swallowing hard, Blair can't help but feel the damp spot on the front her silk panties. She licks her lips and shuts her eyes, trying to ignore how tempted she is to slide her fingers down.

A small whimper escapes her lips as she tries to squeeze her thighs together and prevent from temptation getting the better of her.

Ultimately, temptation wins.

Biting her lower lip, Blair gives in and slips her fingers under her panties, thinking of him slipping his fingers into her slickness as he pleads her to fuck him.

She comes with his name on her lips and Chuck snoring lightly beside her.

* * *

Blair pre-orders Dan's new book from Amazon. When it comes through the mail, she hides it in her drawer and only reads it when Chuck isn't home. She reads it over and over again, slowly becoming obsessed with the book. It's his best work yet and she feels like it's what their story could be.

She's practically touched herself thinking of every sex scene.

When she's in Paris, Jenny calls and somewhere in the conversation, Dan's name comes up. She soon learns Dan's in Paris, which makes her heart beat erratically. It's clear he still wants her and god does she ever want him.

Unfortunately, she's married.

Blair frowns and stares at her ring for a long moment before finally making a decision. She takes the ring off and places it in her clutch, before leaving for the nightclub Jenny had told her Dan would be.

* * *

The lie catches up with her. She falls on her knees in the middle of the foyer and loses control of her emotions once Dan shuts the door as he leaves.

"What the fuck Blair?" Chuck yells.

She slowly rises to her feet and turns around to leave the foyer. The last thing she wants is to get into argument because she's too emotionally drained.

Chuck grabs a hold of her wrist, not letting her brush past him.

"You can never stick to a decision can you" Chuck says as his jaw is clenched tightly.

"Let go Chuck. It's over" Blair replies softly.

The pain in his eyes is evident, but she realizes she can't be with him anymore. She's too miserable with him and they will never be able to get past the fact that she cheated.

He lets go and she packs up her things. Shortly after, she takes a leave of absence from Waldorf Designs and heads back to New York.

* * *

After a month passes, she stops calling Dan and realizes it's better for her to move on. Serena has yet to come back, so all that remains is her mother and Nate.

With the divorce proceedings getting started, Blair moves back into her mother's penthouse. She's rarely ever home nowadays. Most of her time is consumed with work and the only time she comes home is to get some shut eye.

Jenny swings by often, distracting her with designs as the days and weeks pass. They slowly reach the point to where they are more than just co-workers, which Blair is grateful for.

* * *

"Are you going to this?" Jenny asks, holding the invitation to Blair's high school reunion.

Blair's eyes leave the dress on the mannequin and turns over to Jenny. "Of course. It's something I've been practically looking forward to since I was 14"

Jenny's eyes squint in worry. "I think Dan's going to be there"

Her heart stops pumping and the measuring tape she's holding falls out of her hands.

"Did he tell you that?"

"He called me yesterday and asked if I could pick him up from JFK" Jenny answers and picks the measuring tape backup to measure the dress. "I'm now assuming he's here for the reunion"

"That's interesting" Blair says coolly and stared down on her nails, leading Jenny to roll her eyes.

* * *

At first, Blair's nervous and feeling slightly shy, but as the night progresses and she has more conversations, she's able to catch her breath and calm down.

After roaming around the large ballroom and getting distracted from former classmates, Blair finally sees Dan, who is having a conversation with Nate and a bunch of other guys Dan never spoke to in high school.

His hair is cut medium length. It's extra lengthy on the back but shorter on the sides and the top. She takes in his body, which is exactly the same as it was before.

When their eyes meet, he cuts his eyes away, not even waiting one second and her heart sinks a little.

* * *

After the reunion, Blair asks her driver to take her to Brooklyn. She didn't want to cause a scene, but that didn't mean she's going to give up.

She climbs up the old crusty stairs of Dan's building until she reaches his front door. She turns the knob and is surprised to learn that it's locked.

Blair shuts her eyes and takes in a deep breath, before knocking on his front door. As she eagerly awaits for him to open the door, she bites her lower lip and holds her clutch with the both of her hands nervously.

The door opens and Dan cocks his head to the side, not looking pleased to see her there as he blocks any path for her to enter.

Her eyes can't help but go soft being able to stand this close to him.

"What are you doing here?" Dan asks, still in his white dress shirt which was noticeably un-tucked.

"I was hoping you'd let me in" Blair replies and tries to poke her head through to get a look of what's inside.

Dan closes the opening for the doorway a little more and she frowns. She's sad that things have reached all the way to this point. He was truly her most genuine best friend. Between him and Serena, it wasn't even close. Dan won by a mile.

"Maybe we could watch a movie" Blair offers softly, eyes falling to the floor.

"Blair" Dan says and she looks up to finally meet his eyes. "We're not friends anymore"

"We could start over" Blair proposes, with a little hope in her voice.

"I don't want to start over"

"Why?" Blair asks.

"I'm so mad at you" Dan admits and swallows hard before meeting her eyes again. "You had somebody who loved you unconditionally, which was what you longed for. And then you threw it all away for him"

"I thought I was following my heart" Blair replies softly and she can feel the warmth making its way up to her eyes.

"If that's true, then I'm glad for it. But you didn't have to treat me the way you did after" Dan looks at her questionably. "I mean what the hell was that Blair?"

She wasn't expecting this. She thought they would talk about what happened in France, but instead, he's dredging up the past.

"I thought that there may have been a chance that you cared about me, but after what happened in France, I realized that you never actually never did" He adds and shakes his head lightly in disappointment.

She wants cry, but she is not going to let him see how much his words affect her. So she stands strong and defiant, taking in his words and never considers apologizing.

"I suppose I should get going then" Blair says and takes a step back from his door.

"I think that's a good idea" Dan nods and slowly backs away before shutting the door.

There's no hesitation or one final glance from his end. The door is shut and she's standing there, wondering why it hurts so much. It's been three years since she had last seen him, but time apart obviously didn't heal her wounds.

* * *

Life goes on for Blair. She delves herself deeper into work and forgets about her surroundings. All she has is a crown that she doesn't plan on surrendering. Even without Chuck, she is what every woman in the Upper East Side strives for.

But it isn't enough.

Everything for her is about expanding and becoming more recognized. By the end of her ruling of Waldorf Designs, her main focus and goal is to become popular enough and to produce enough revenue to create her own fashion magazine.

She begins doing a lot of magazine covers as the face of Waldorf Designs. To gain even more popularity, she starts dating well known men as more of a marketing strategy than actual love. And within a few months, her face is everywhere.

* * *

Her mother comes to New York, and seems worried. She's against the idea of the media intervening with her life as well as influencing the designs of their clothes. But what her mother doesn't understand is that the world has changed. Social media is what's key now in days and if she doesn't take advantage of it, then she's letting her competitors be a step ahead.

One Blair's biggest strengths is manipulating the media. Every writer, producer, host or anyone that influences the people that follow her, is in love with her. Over the years, she built her relationship with them and now it's paying off. There are very few things negatively written on her, or shown on TV.

To her, Waldorf Designs is a brand.

"You're everywhere" Eleanor says and smiles thoughtfully. "My little girl has grown"

Blair's in the dining room of what is technically her mother's penthouse. She could move out, but she isn't strangely comfortable with the idea. This is the only place she's ever felt home.

"Although, I must admit, I am a little disappointed with the designs" Eleanor admits and sighs.

"The most important thing is the bottom line number, and it's only been growing since I've taken over" Blair points out, feeling a little defensive.

"Yes, you're correct in that aspect, but Waldorf Designs is going to be remembered for you as the face of it and not for its design's" Eleanor explains and pops a grape in her mouth. "And that my dear is not what I was looking for when I hired you"

Blair takes a deep breath through her nose as the anger seeps in.

She stands up and slams her hands on top of the dining table. "Then you shouldn't have hired me because I can only use my strengths"

Eleanor raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Calm down dear. I'm only here to offer you some constructive criticism"

"Okay" Blair shut her eyes and makes an attempt to calm herself. "Then what do you propose I do?"

"You may want to consider letting Jenny have more input on the decision making process for the final designs" Eleanor replies and pops another grape in her mouth.

A huff of air leaves Blair's lips in disbelief, but she decides to nod and give her mother what she wants.

* * *

Serena's back. Her former best friend's out of money and hooked on drugs. She doesn't look like a 29 year old woman as the drugs have taken their toll on her.

Lily's disappointed, which is not surprising. She does offer to take Serena in, but Blair doesn't allow it. She is not going to let Lily ruin Serena's life, because as she's watched them from afar, it's become clear Lily has never had a strong handle on her kids.

Blair takes Serena back home to her penthouse where she nurses the skinny blonde back to health. Serena looks weak and her hair has dried out. It's not as shiny as it once was and it makes Blair sad.

Blair realized Serena was in some serious condition when they were in the kitchen and one of Serena's teeth fell out after taking a bite into an apple.

"I need it B" Serena whispers as the sweat glisten on her dry skin.

A sad smile forms on Blair's lips as she wipes the sweat off Serena's forehead with wet towel with Serena lying on a bed.

"I know" Blair says softly as her tears well, not believing her friend is in this condition. A condition where Serena's body is begging for heroine because it has become so dependent on it. "Just a few more days and you'll get through this"

Serena nods and shuts her tired eyes.

"Why doesn't he want me?" Serena asks softly.

"I don't know, but if it makes you feel any better, he doesn't want me either" Blair replies.

Serena's dry lips curl into a smile. "It does"

They both laugh together, even though she's hurting inside at the thought.

* * *

The sequel to _Inside_ comes out, and to her surprise, Dan had been in Brooklyn this whole time. Blair doesn't know what to make of it. Claire gets married to a surgeon and Dylan ends up being divorced from Sabrina, only to live a life of un-fulfillment.

"Are you coming?"

Blair eyes drift up from the book and sees Serena standing by the doorway of her office. She smiles and places the book on top of her desk to follow Serena.

It's another weekend and another party being held in a booked ballroom of a five star hotel.

* * *

Blair spends most of her night making sure Serena doesn't drink at the party. However, she does get distracted with a potential investor and loses track of Serena.

She b-lines through the whole ballroom and begins to get worried. When she opens the door to the entrance of the ballroom, she sees Serena having a casual conversation with Dan. She hesitantly makes her way over to them and swallows nervously when Dan's eyes fall on her.

"Blair" Dan greets.

"Oh, so you are speaking to me" Blair mocks with a smile filled with displeasure.

Dan looks at Serena for help, but Serena only offers him an amused expression.

"I see you're still writing about us" She blinks, showing off her long eyelashes. "Your fixation over the Upper East Side is starting to become disturbing"

His lips purse and not one word leaves his lips. She knows he's biting his tongue, which is practically begging him to respond.

Blair cocks a brow. "When did Dan Humphrey become so quiet?"

Dan shoves his hands down his pocket as his eyes slowly drift down and a small smile forms on his lips.

"I should probably head back inside" Dan tells them and begins to brush past them.

For some reason, Blair grabs a hold of his wrist instinctively and when Dan looks over his shoulder to meet her eyes, she can see how shocked he is. She herself is stunned and after swallowing nervously, she releases her hold on his wrist to head outside the hotel, feeling embarrassed.

A tired sigh leaves her lips as she rubs her bare arms up and down, staring into the traffic filled street. Sometimes Blair wished she lived in a more secluded area instead of New York City.

"Are you okay?"

She looks over her shoulder to see Dan approaching her. Blair's only response is a shrug of the shoulders. She doesn't have much of an answer. Sometimes she feels great, and other times she feels sad, but most of the time, she feels like she's just living and going through the motions of life.

"That was intense" Dan says, and laughs a little, as Blair can only smile. "You seem troubled"

"I am" Blair admits, turning over to face him as he shoves his hands down his pockets. "I'm really annoyed with you"

Dan licks his lips and smiles. "Why?"

"I really hated the ending Dan" Blair complains and she furrows her brows in confusion. "Am I not good enough for you? Are you trying to hurt me as some sort of retribution for everything I've ever done?"

He takes a step forward and reaches for both of her hands, making her heart grow warm. His eyes slowly drift up to meet hers and she can feel his thumbs affectionately massaging the top of her hands.

"The only difference between you and Claire is that she realizes she deserves a man better than Dylan. I think that's always been your biggest flaw Blair. You don't realize that you could do much better"

Her breath hitches a little as the warmth coming from his body draws her in. He takes a small step back and her grip tightens around his hands, making Dan smile.

"All I've ever wanted is for someone to love me the way you loved me" Blair confesses, meeting his eyes.

Dan's eyes soften. "That was a long time ago"

She takes his hand and lifts it up to her cheek where it belongs. "Can you just come over?" At least for a little while?"

There seems to be this internal struggle written on Dan's face as she waits for his answer quietly and patiently. She lets her eyes soften and brushes the curl of hair across his forehead, standing there as the moment reeks of anticipation.


End file.
